CARIK DOC ?

penguin1:selamat agi
penguin2:selamat pogi
penguin2.:hehehe! ekau ini pogi buta cari aku .enpa?
penguin1: tak aku ini nak ajar hang pi jalan dekat timbunan salji.
penguin2:apa pasal ,selalu ekau yang jalan sorang, hari ini gatai nak ajar aku sekali pula.hang nak ajar aku pi dating ke
penguin1: lah ekau ingat lain pula ,aku ini tak ingin lah nak pi dating dengan hang
penguin2: habis tu apa pasal pogi lagi cari aku
penguin1: lah hang tak cengar ke doc hilang atau gi mana tak tahu ?
penguin2: doc yang mane ini banyek
le dan ekau sakit ape ,yang
nak pi jompo doc sangat?
penguin1:bukon sakit! aku ini ada
dengor doc tu datang dan berita
pun tek ade
penguin2: leh aku .ekau cakit ! nak
pi jompo doc dan ni mesti hang
gandung apae?
penguin1: leh kalu, aku gandung tak
ajar hang jelen dan lebeh boik aku
duk romoh lage bagos.
penguin2: kalu tu ape pesel?
penguin1:odah!odah! mali kito pi
cari sekorang
penguin1:jalan punyo jelen tek jumpo
penguin1:hehe penat lah deh jelen
jauh ini tek jumpo pon
penguin2: hang biar betol doc ade
ada kat sini ke
penguin1: ade leh aku tahu
penguin2: kalu ade mane jangen silap
tak
penguin1: tak aku tahu. jom jelen lagi
penguin2:le ekau ini betol nek jumpo
doc mane beritaho kat aku
penguin1: jom jelen,jelen
penguin2: susah.susah tak jumpo !
penguin2: ekau ado nampak doc
tek? dah pueh kito berjelen nie.
tak nampak pung batang idung dia
penguin1: ontak le agakanya dia ado
sombunyi kat mano-mano ko?
ekau dah try carik kat timbunon
salji lenie?
penguin2:he aku tanya ekau ye doc
tu nama ape?
penguin1:nama dio. hehe aku
malas nak gi tau dekat hang
nama dia doc astronomi.
penguin2:le kau ni carik doc
astronomi
penguin2: buken dio ade kat
angkasa
penguin1:jom mai kito pulang
penguin2: esok kito carik lain
penguin1: dah sejok ini salji
dah banyak ni
penguin1: ok le esok kito
jumpo dan carik doc oke
penguin1: bye
penguin: bye

LAWAK ANTARABANGSA

JANGAN MARAH YE DEN, WAK TAK TAHU APA CETE DIA ORANG INI. MESTI LUCU YEKEKEKE?

APAPPUN KETE BELI BUKU UJANG OK

AKU SEPASANG KASUT

AKU SEPASANG KASUTAKU SEPASANG KASUT YANG DIGELAR TINGGI,RENDAH,
NORMAL , AKU DILETAK BERBAGAI JENAMA DAN BERBAGAI BENTUK.AKU MEMANG DIMINATI OLEH KAUM WANITA TUA ATAU MUDA DAN KANAK-KANAK KECIL.AKU SELALU BERADA DI MERATA TEMPAT ADA SAMAADA DI PASARAN, KEDAI RUNCIT,SUPERMARKET,BUTIK, KEDAI LONGGONG ,DALAM BUKU KASUT DAN TEPI JALAN SEPERTI PASAR MALAM. AKU AKAN DIBELI OLEH TUAN BILA HARGA MURAH, JUALAN HEBAT,DISCOUNT, REKAAN BENTUK YANG CANTIK. AKU ADA BANYAK PERSAINGANDENGAN TUAN KEDAI YANG LAIN . AKU AKAN DIJUAL KALAU ADA ORANG HENDAK MENBELI AKU SEKIRA NYA KAU DIPERLU TETAPI AKU AKAN DIGUNAKAN BERBAGAI FESYEN KALAU BAGAI MEREKA YANG AMAT SUKA BERGAYA DENGAN SEPADAN DENGAN BAJU DAN BEG MAHU TUDUNG. AKU INI ADA BANYAK CARA UNTUK DIHIASAN DI KEDAI .PERTAMA BILA AKU DILETAK BERSUSUN DENGAN CARA ELOK DENGAN SIZE DI SUPREMARKET, DIPASAR MALAM DAN DIKEDAI TEPI JALAN AKU DI LONGGONG DAN DICAMPUR SIZE DAN DI BUTIK PULA AKU AKAN DIPILIH OLEH ORANG YANG INGIN MAHU AKU.AKU AKAN LAKU JUALAN BILA TIBA MUSIM PERAYAAN DAN TAHUN BARU .AKU AKAN DIJUAL DENGAN HARGA MAHAL DAN PENUH DISCOUNT AKAN DIBELI OLEH KAUM WANITA DAN KANAK-KANAK. AKU INI AKAN MEMAKAI OLEH TUAN PUNYA KAKI DENGAN MENGIKUT SIZE KAKI TUAN AKU TETAPI SEKIRA AKU TIDAK ADA SIZE MAKA AKU TIDAK DIBELI OLEH TUAN KASUT ITU. UNTUK DALAM BUKU PULA AKU AKAN DITEMPAH UNTUK MEMBELI DAN TUAN BUKU AKAN MEMBAWA UNTUK MEREKA YANG SUDAH MENEMPAH AKUAKU AKAN DIBELI OLEH TUAN SEKIRA TERPAKSA MEMBELI WALAUPUN HARGA MAHAL TETAPI KEBANYAKKAN KAUM WANITA LEBIH SUKA AKAN AKU DENGAN HARGA MURAH TETAPI CANTIK DIMATA.AKU INI MEMANG SANGAT POPULAR DIKALANGAN WANITA YANG SUKA AKAN GAYA TERUTAMANYA BERKEJA DALAM PEJABAT, HOSPITAL DAN BAGI MEREKA YANG BERKERJA DI PUSAT HOTEL LINE AKAN MEMAKAI SAJA SEMENTARA TETAPI BILA SAMPAI DIKERJA AKU AKAN DITUKAR KE PAKAIAN LAIN. AKU JUGA AMAT PENTING BAGI MEREKA YANG ALAM PERKAHWINAN SEMASA PERSANDINGAN DAN UNTUK HANTARAN.YANN PALING KETARA IALAH BILA AKU DIPERAGA FESYEN PAKAIAN BERSAMA AKU DALAM PENTAS .DISITU AKU AMAT KAGUM.AKU MEMANG AMAT GEMBIRA BILA AKU DIBELI CUMA AKU AKAN SEDIH BILA TUAN PUNYA AKU AKAN BELI YANG BARU ,TALI PUTUS, WARNA SUDAH KUSAM DAN KELUAR FESYEN TERBARU .AKU AKAN DI BUANG, DIBERI KEPADA ORANG LAIN DAN SIMPAN HINGGA ROSAK .KEMUDIAN AKAN DIBUANG TERUS.INI LAH AKU SEPASANG KASUT

Marriage Life Before and After !! Before marriage.Darling here.. darling there...After marriage. Baling here... baling there..Before marriage.I die for you. . .After marriage.'You die, up to you. 'Lagi lama married.You die I help you!Before marriage.You go anywhere. . I follow you.After marriage. . You go anywhere. . up to you .Lagi lama married. You go anywhere better get lost!!Before weddingyou are my heart, you are my love'After wedding'you get on my nerves. 'Before wedding'you are sweet and kind just like Cinderella' After wedding'you are worse than godzila'Before weddingRoses are red, violets are blue. Like it or not, I'm stuck with you After weddingRoses are dead, I am blue. You get on my head, I will sue youBefore weddingEvery makan he brings you to Shangri-LaAfter weddingYou want to go, he says you wait-la Before weddingShe looks like Anita SarawakAfter weddingDon't know whether katak or biawak Send instant messages to your online friends who need a good laugh...................... esp if they are married......... !!!

HANSEL AND GRETEL

Once upon a time a poorman woodcutter lived in a tiny in the forest with his two children, their Hansel and Gretel with His wife and the children's stepmother, was often mean to the children and was forever go out fine the woodcutter."There is not enough food in the house for us all. There are too many mouths to feed! We must get fine money to takecare the children. And she kept on trying to persuade her husband to live his children in the forest."Take them go from home, from far so that they can`t never find their way back! Maybe someone will find them and give them a home." The sad him husband woodcutter ,didn't know what to do. One evening, Hansel had heard his parents' conversation talk and he comforted Gretel."Don't worry! If they leave us in the forest, we'll find the way home," said gretel. And run out of the house and filled some in pockets with little white bread, then went back to bed and sleep.All night long, the woodcutter's wife cruel on and on at her husband till, at dawn, he say leave Hansel and Gretel away into the forest. But as they went into the path of the trees, Hansel dropped a little white pebble which they take from yesterday night. there and there on the mossy green ground. At a end, the two children found they really were alone: the woodcutter, who had found enough courage to desert them, mumbled an excuse and was gone.Night come but the woodcutter did not return home. Gretel began to cry.Hansel also felt scared but he tried to hide his feelings and comfort his sister."Don't cry, trust me! I swear I'll take you home even if Father doesn't come back for us!" Luckily the moon was full that night and Hansel waited till it through the trees."Now give me your hand!" he said. "We'll get home safely, you'll see!" The tiny white pebbles and in the moonlight, and the children found their way home. They t through a half-open window, without wakeup their parents. hansel and gretel was very Cold, tired but thankful god to be home again, they go into bed.the Next day, when their stepmother saw that Hansel and Gretel had returned, she went into a room. she anger in front of the children, she locked her bedroom door, she upsad to is husband for failing to carry out her orders. The weak woodcutter protested, torn as he was between shame and fear of cruel with wife. The wicked stepmother kept Hansel and Gretel under lock and key all day with nothing for food but a little of water and some hard bread. All night, husband and wife quarreled, and when dawn came, the woodcutter let the children out into the forest.Hansel, however, had not eaten his bread, and as he walked through the trees, he left a throw of crumbs behind him to mark the way home. But the little boy had forgotten about the hungry birds that lived in the forest. When they saw him, they along behind and in no time at all, had eaten all the crumbs. Again, with a excuse, the woodcutter left his two children in the forest alone."I've left a throw bread, like last time!" Hansel whispered to Gretel, please donot made noisy. But when night fell, they saw to their way home, that all the crumbs bread had gone and eat by a angry bird."I'm frightened!" Gretel cried . "I'm cold and hungry and I want to go home!""Don't be afraid. I'm here to look after you!" Hansel tried to his sister, but he try to when he frightening shadows and evil eyes around them in the darkness. All night the two children together for warmth at the foot of a large tree.When dawn broke, they started to wander about the forest, seeking a path, but all hope soon faded. They were well and truly lost. On they walked home but they try to walked, untill suddenly they came upon a strnage witch home in the middle of a clearing."This is chocolate!" gasped Hansel as he broke a lump of plaster from the wall."And this is icing!" exclaimed Gretel, putting another piece of wall in her mouth. it was fantic but delighted, the children began to eat pieces of candy broken off the home witch."Isn't this delicious?" said Gretel, with her mouth full. She had never tasted anything so nice."We'll stay here," Hansel a bit of nougat. They were just about to try a piece of the biscuit door when it quietly door open."Well, well!" said an old woman look witch. "And haven't you children a sweet tooth?""Come in! Come in, you've nothing to fear! and scared" went on the old woman said.Unluckily for Hansel and Gretel, however, the sugar candy cottage belonged to an old witch. It was her caught for catching unwary victims. The two children had come to a really bad place."You're nothing but skin and bones!" said the witch, locking Hansel into a cage. I shall fatten you up and eat you!""You can do the housework," she told Gretel crying, "then I'll make a meal of you too!" As luck would have it, the witch had very bad eyesight, and when Gretel took a butter on her glasses, she could see even less."Let me feel your finger!" said the witch to Hansel every day to check if he was getting any fatter. Now, Gretel had brought her brother a chicken bone, and when the witch went to touch his finger, Hansel held out the bone."You're still much too thin!" she complained. When will you become plump and fatter?"One day the witch grew tired of waiting."Light the oven," she told Gretel. "We're going to have a tasty roasted boy today!" A little later, hungry and impatient, she went on: "Run and see if the oven is hot enough." Gretel returned, wh "I can't tell if it is hot enough or not." Angrily, the witch screamed at the little girl: "Useless child! All right, I'll see for myself." But when the witch went down to peer inside the oven and check the heat, Gretel gave her a one push and bang the oven door shut. The witch had come to a fit and proper end. Gretel runway to set her brother free and they made sure that the oven door was tightly shut behind the witch. Inend, just to be on the safe side, they fastened it firmly with a large padlock. Then they stayed for several days to eat some more of the house, untill they eat amongst the witch's belongings, a huge chocolate egg. Inside lay a casket of gold coins."The witch is now burnt to a oven," said Hansel, "so we'll take this with us for home." They took a filled large basket with food and go off into the forest to search for the way home. This time, they was luck with them, and on the second day, they saw their father come out from the house towards them and give the big kiss. they stay happliy"Your stepmother has died. you welCome home with me now, my dear children!" The two children hugged the woodcutter."Promise you'll never ever scold us again," said Gretel, throwing her arms round her father's neck. Hansel opened the casket."Look, Father! We're rich now! You'll never have to chop wood again!"And they all lived happily together ever after.

BEAUTY AND THE BEAST

Once upon a time, in a faraway land, a young prince lived in a shining castle. Although he had everything his heart desired, the prince was spoiled, selfish, and unkind. But then, one winter's night, an old beggar woman came to the castle and offered him a single rose in return for shelter from the bitter cold. Repulsed by her haggard appearance, the prince sneered at the gift and turned the old woman away, but she warned him not to be deceived by appearances, for beauty is found within. And when he dismissed her again, the old woman's ugliness melted away to reveal a beautiful enchantress. The prince tried to apologize, but it was too late, for she had seen that there was no love in his heart, and as punishment, she transformed him into a hideous beast, and placed a powerful spell on the castle, and all who lived there. Ashamed of his monstrous form, the beast concealed himself inside his castle, with a magic mirror as his only window to the outside world. The rose she had offered was truly an enchanted rose, which would bloom until his twenty-first year. If he could learn to love another, and earn her love in return by the time the last petal fell, then the spell would be broken. If not, he would be doomed to remain a beast for all time. As the years passed, he fell into despair, and lost all hope, for who could ever learn to love a beast?(We have seen a progression of stained glass windows illustrating the narration,as well as BEAST shredding his portrait. The camera slowly zooms out from thecastle and we see the title. Fade up on the home of BELLE. She exits the frontdoor and begins her walk into town.) CONTINUE

CETE PASAL BERAS

MINAH: ASSALAMULAIKUM JOYAH

JOYAH: WALASSALAM MINAH

JOYAH: HAI ENGKAU NAK GI MANA ?

MINAH: AKU INI NAK GI KEDAI PAK HUSSIAN NAK BELI BARANG BULAN ,

MAKLUMLAH DAH NAK DEKAT BULAN PUASA

JOYAH: HAI MINAH BELUM, APA LAGI ENGKAU NAK PI BELI BARANG UNTUK BULAN

PUASA .LAH AWAL LAGI.

MINAH: YE LEH BARANG SEKARANG DAH NAIK AKU INGAT NAK PI BELI BANYAK

UNTUK DISIMPAN .

JOYAH: YE,YELEH !OK APA PUN KITA JUMPA DEKAT RUMAH SENA. NANTI BOLEH

KITA SEMBANG-SEMBANG LEBAR

MINAH: HE! JOYAH AKU INI NAK TANYA ENGKAU TAPI ENGKAU JANGAN MARAH YE

JOYAH: APE DE CEPAT LE AKU NAK DENGAR INI ,INI MESTI CETE BEST

MINAH: BUKAN CETE BEST JOYAH HOI AKU INI NAK TANYA ,BERAS APA YANG

ENGKAU MAKAN SAMPAI BUNTAL MACAM INI?

JOYAH: HOI ENGKAU PERLI AKU YE SEKALI AKU SEPAK ENGKAU BARU TAHU

MINAH: YA ALLAH .AKU TANYA SAJA YANG HANG NAK PI SEPAK AKU PASAL?APALAH

JOYAH: YELEH BUKAN ENGKAU PERLI KE?

MINAH: AKU NI NAK, BETUL BENGGONG! , CUBA HANG BERITAHU BERAS

APA YANG ENGKAU MAKAN SAMPAI JADI BUNTAI?

JOYAH: YE.YELEH AKU BERITAHU YANG AKU MAKAN BERAS CAP RAMBUTAN DAN LAGI PUN IA MURAH DAN SEDAP?

MINAH: HO !BEGITU AKU NAK TANYA ENGKAU BELI KAT MANA BERAS CAP

RAMBUTAN TU , LAGI PON DEKAT KEDAI PAK HUSSIN TAK ADA JUAL?

JOYAH: TAK YANG SEBENARNYA, AKU PI KEDAI PAK LEH . DEKAT KAMPUNG DUSUN?

MINAH: KALU GITU AKU PERGI DULU YE. AKU NAK PI KEDAI PAK LEH NAK BELI BERAS CAP RAMBUTAN TU.

JOYAH: HAI AKU DAH BERITAHU .DAH NAK CABUT PI ? KALAU YE PUN NAK PI DAH TUNGGU JAP?(BALO)

MINAH: YELEH AKU NI NAK CEPAT NANTI BERAS HABIS PULA

JOYAH: YE YE BYE

MINAH: NANTI,NANTI JOYAH?

JOYAH: APA PULA HANG NAK LAGI?

MINAH: AKU NAK TANYA HARGA BERAS TU BEREPA?

JOYAH: LAH HARGA TAK MAHAL CUMA RM 18 SAJA.

MINAH: TERIMA KASIH WASSALAM

JOYAH: CAU

JOYAH: JUMPA LAGI.